Bittersweet: Tribute to Kiley

Today is a bittersweet day. I want to tell you about how much FUN I had last night with Riley 'trick or treating' through the neighborhoods but first...I will do a little tribute to Kiley. Two years ago today I lost my 4 month old Quarter horse filly, Kiley. I had only had her for 2 months but oh how you can become SO attached in such a short period of time. I had gotten Kiley from a guy who is a total JERK and didn't need horses to begin with. Kiley, her mother and her older sister were in a barb wire fenced in pasture with no feed and only a nasty little pond to drink from. Kiley's older sister who was a long yearling had one leg she was permanently cripple on due to an injury that had gone un treated. From the day Kiley was born I was in love with her. I would go in the pasture and play with her and I would always tell her how someday I would rescue her, "Someday Kiley, you are gonna be mine!" Well that day came soon enough when one day we found Kiley tangled up in the barb wire fence by one of her back legs. She was standing there so calmly but the barbwire was wrapped completely around her tiny leg, a few inches above her fetlock. I called my friend who lived right down the road and we cut her loose. My friend offered her owner $500 for all three horses and thankfully, he accepted. We took them home and my friend gave me Kiley. We called the vet out for her and he treated her and all seemed well...
 She was beautifully built and an amazing mover! I would often watch her canter perfectly in the pasture, stop, do the most beautiful little pivot on her hind end and than spring away! She was naturally athletic. Kiley's wound healed (or so we thought) and all was well until one day a few weeks after the injury I went out to find her with one leg grossly swollen. I instantly iced it and called our vet. He was out of town but told us to ice it and cold water hose and see if it went down. Monday morning, after treating it religiously all weekend, we found it to be worse so we called our vet than loaded her and her mother up and headed to Harrington. There, they took x rays and found that Kiley had a nasty bacteria eating away at her coffin bone. They thought it was clostridium and instantly started treating her aggressively with medicine. I was 17 at the time and spent over a thousand dollars trying to save her and would have done whatever to get ten thousand more if it would have saved her...She stayed at Harrington for a week and we took her back home for a week. That week I spent all day and all night washing her leg and giving her medicine and injections and cleaning her stall. I also had to tend to her mom as she wasn't weaned and wash her poor little tail and hind end as she had bad diarrhea from the medicine. I prayed and prayed and BEGGED God to please save her.  I swore I would do whatever it took, just please save her! But alas on October 31, 2008 her hoof capsule was starting to slough and she was becoming depressed. She had stayed so strong and happy up until now. We took her back to Harrington and with one last ditch effort to save her they took her into surgery to remove the hoof capsule. The outlook was poor but the vet told us if she had healthy viable lamina tissue she could possibly regenerate a new hoof. They said they had seen it happen before. I laid with her in her stall before they took her back and balled my eyes out. I didn't care who say me I just cried and held her and prayed with everything I had but told her good bye just in case. I told her I loved her and how amazing she was and what a fighter and than watched as they carried her away. It was 20 minutes later when the vet came out...shaking his head and told me her coffin bone was 'dead' and they put her down.

I turned away and sat down to keep from throwing up and passing out. I cried more that night and had conflicting thoughts about God...why hadn't he saved her? What had I done wrong? Could I have done more? Sometimes I still wonder... but time heals all wounds. There is still a hole left than could never be filled or replaced. I understand now that everything happens for a reason and I'm just thankful now that she has crossed the rainbow bridge and is galloping sound and beautiful in horsey heaven. She deserves it. If it wasn't for her I would have never found May. There is so much more I could write about her and her story. I could go on for days about how amazing she was and how everyone around her was touched by her good spirits and strength. All I can say now is that I am thankful I had the time with her that I did, and I'm thankful she at least had a few months of great quality life. I love you Kiley and thank you for teaching me what it means to truly to fight with everything you have. R.I.P my baby girl.

With all that being said right now I don't think I could muster the cheer to type. about how awesome last night was so I will save it for later today. For another post.  "Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal...but love leaves a memory that no one can steal." -Anon